I'm reading The Queens of Freeville now and it makes me look forward to every night I can crawl into bed with the author and share her stories and her reflections. Author, Amy Dickinson is THE person who was chosen among thousands to replace the indomitable Ann Landers. This book is her story of growing up in a family of strong women and learning to be her own self-sufficient-single-mother-unit-of-two when her husband left her with a small child. It offers up many moments of truth which echo through my own experience, my mothers life and that of friends and family.
It is heartwarming, laugh out loud funny and sticky. What she says - sticks with you.
Take this passage where she talks about the immediate aftermath of her own father leaving the house.
"it's an old-fashioned notion to even try to maintain one's dignity in the face of outrage, but I watched my mother do her best. Exercising her only marketable skill, she got a job as a typist in an office. She was forty-two and had been a full-time farm wife and mother for twenty-two years. At night she would come home from work and lie down on her bed still wearing her coat, holding her purse across her stomach.
"I just need twenty minutes," she would say. Then she would hoist herself up, walk into the kitchen and start cooking supper. After years of preparing large meals featuring homegrown produce and homemade breads and preserves- always followed by a baked dessert- my mother stepped down to hot dogs served on buns pulled from plastic sleeves, accompanied by potato chips.
My father had limited interest in his children, so there was no question of custody. My mother never pursued him for any sort of financial support- and he didn't offer it.
She simply prevailed. Prevailing is underrated. People have the idea that unless they win, they lose. But sometimes surviving is enough. My mother knew this, and I learned it by watching her.
Yep- Prevailing seems to be a pretty good term these days.